(no subject)

Today was really purple.

I got out of bed and immediately wished I hadn't.

I feel small and green and slightly bitter/sweet. I am a Granny Smith.

I'm so phlegmy. My lungs make me sound like Barry White.

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

I want to tell the world to sing in perfect harmony.

I am sending cheese to all my LJ Friends. Hooray for cheese! And boobies!

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my girlfriend in the nude (but don't tell her that I've posted them here - she'll kill me! Har har.)

I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I smell funny, and should spray myself with Febreeze before leaving the house. And bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you who you're sexually compatible with.

OMIGOD did you see what Britney's punani looks like? Like that cat that Dr Evil had in Austin Powers. GROSS!

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with some naked photos of myself. (Not safe for work - teehee).

Meme blame thanks to idefixlechat.

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