(no subject)

[i_kender]

 Here is the story of this year's Bad Sex Awards for the worst descriptions of The Act in mainstream fiction.

And here are some extracts from the nominated... ahem... passages.

Um... enjoy?

Comments

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

OH glorious pubes! And then THEY TAKE OFF THEIR BRAS!

(I wonder how long it will take for Simon to reply to this post.)

[i_kender]

Pubes glorious pubes
hot sausage and custard!
When we're in the mood
Fisting! With mustard!

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

EWWW HET.

I think it's a straight fight between Norman Mailer and the Absurdistan bloke, although the one who wrote about pubes like wet carpet required an honourable mention.

I'd like to disagree with my icon here, I think it's definitely the enemy.

[i_kender]

But it's Shakespeare! It must be tasteful ;)

[cabarethaze.livejournal.com]

My brain, oh GOD.

Way too early in the morning :P

*whimpers*

[i_kender]

*passes the brain bleach*

[cabarethaze.livejournal.com]

*splutters*

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Easily the best award of the season. Not sure they can nominate the one that is deliberately sending up the genre though.

And why has Laurell K Hamilton never been nominated?

[i_kender]

Fanfic wins hands down if they open it up to all comers :)

[buddleia.livejournal.com]

They can start with Harry Potter and go from there.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

I like how you classify LKH as fanfic. :)

[i_kender]

Puhr-leeze! I know a Mary Sue when I see one!