I have celerity, get me out of here!

[i_kender]

Help! Marooned. Kidnapped. Stuck. I'm in my brother's room. The coast is clear, I have a few precious minutes to myself. The three cats are prowling around amidst the scattered detritus on the floor. It's three am, the house is quiet. My brother's bed lies abandoned with tangled sheets and zebra print pillows. The latter are fluorescing in the glow of his tacky nightclub blacklight emitter. It's a cold night and I'm wearing borrowed clothes to keep warm. Including an extremely questionable jumper. Why? Because I didn't bring many clothes with me. Why? Because (deep breath) I was only supposed to be here for a week!!

My parents are holding me hostage. There is no decent food in the house. Worse, we no longer have cable. Nnnrgghh, the unbelievable horror. I must leave. I must escape. There must be a way! I have still have my passport and my ticket. There must be some way I can...

Oh that's just gross. I just got up to find out what the cats were squabbling over, and they've cornered a gecko. I hope it's dead, because they're fighting over it and tossing it around. Yuck yuck yuck.

I too feel cornered. I will find a way out. It's my only hope. I'll be back as soon as I can. I must sign off now, the danger of discovery is too great. Until next time, I remain your ever loving Kender.

Comments

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Is there anything I can do to help?

[buddleia.livejournal.com]

*throws you a lifeline I keep handy*
Well, I guess you won't be coming to the club I didn't go to last night, then!

[spintrian.livejournal.com]

You could leave if you *really* wanted to ;)

And... its cold? In Bahrain? What, did someone turn the aircon up too high?!

[apple-crumble.livejournal.com]

We could kidnap another Bahrainey citizen over here and demand an exchange of prisoners if you like. xxx

oh pulease

[betelbrucke.livejournal.com]

nah, we should just let you rot. you have desert, heat and a gecko. what more could you want? besides which, celerity is a good thing if you want to get out of the way of squabbling cats. though I have my doubts. I think what you really meant to say was celery in which case, you're all set. what are you whining about?

and if you do come back before Christmas, you know I'm only going to pressure you into coming over, drinking too much egg nog and taking the piss out of our ever-loving christmas tree/twig which, I might add, has 12 different baubles and 12/10/8 peppermint candy canes dangling from one branch (i think I ate a few) and a few gold braided stars and bells huddled next to the radiator. It's a Christmas tree in drag, I swear. It's trying to pass itself off as a cactus and, given that it's bereft of pine needles, I think it passes quite admirably.